Celebrity Testimony 4: Smokie Robinson (Motown Legend)

Smokie Robinson Inside My Life Part 5 Chapter 38 Brother Brother: Months passed he went on tour and there was talk that the tour was bedlam talk that Marvin was so cocked out he was dropping his pants during the shows talk like he was acting crazy and falling into despair I tried contacting him but never got through. The on April Fools day 1984 the news came in. It was a cold shock a kick in the groin I heard it on the radio: Marvin Gaye was killed. Killed by his own father. My first thoughts were- its a mistake, its impossible, the news is wrong. But the news was right. I wept. I sang and spoke at his funeral. A friend- a beautiful man gone so early so foolishly. Now I was moving in the same direction. Why couldnt I stop myself? Why couldnt I turn it around?. My days were dark my nights were filled with fear. The knock on the door was loud an persistent. At first I thought I was dreaming. Then I got scared. Maybe it was the cops maybe a killer. Fear was all up in my face. " Open the door man! Open it now!" I knew Leon Kennedys voice. I let him in. "Smokie," he said "You look terrible. What in the world are you doing to yourself, man? Do you want to die?" "I aint dying just cooling out." "Coke's got you so disgusted with yourself, you cant stop. Cant you see the vicious cycle?" "Get off my back, Leon. You dont know what youre talking about," I lied. Dopers always lie to cover up. I didnt tell him about the stomach pains, the puss passing out of my body,the heart palpitations, the cold sweats. "You look like a ghost, Smokie. Your skins turning green, your eyes are all sunken into your head, youre wasting away to nothing." " I dont want to talk about this anymore. Im doing fine man, just leave me alone." "No Im not leaving at all. Im staying here and Im going to pray for you. I dont care how long it takes." Leon stayed and prayed for me all night; he prayed till the sun came up; he wouldnt leave me; he stayed at my house all the day and that night insisted that we go to a place called Ablaze Ministry. I called Ivory Stone, my close friend and back up singer, to come along.I'd been in contact with Ivory during those miserable months. Shed been about my only source of comfort. The few times I did eat she was the only one who fed me. When she first came to sing with me in 1975, I loved her immediately. Shes a warm and wonderful person, physically gorgeous, inwardly beautiful, the kind of woman any man would be proud to call his own. She turned me on to Jesus; shes been a strong spiritual amd emotional influence on my life. Ablaze wasnt a church just a small building in a working class neighborhood on Florence Avenue where people were up and singing. Everyone looked joyful and glad.It wasnt an all black hallelujah holy revival but rather a room filled with different type people- orientals, chicanos, whites and blacks. The leader was a heavy set black woman. "That's Jean Perez," Leon whispered in my ear. I'd never seen a preacher woman before and she was dynamite. She didnt come at you from the Bible; she came from the street, said how shed done it yourself- the drugs and drinking-and shed seen another way. She was real. Her speech was captivating. "I feel the anointing coming on," she said. " The anointing is very strong in my hands. Everyone who feels like theyve got arthritis, come up here now." Five or six people got up and started walking towards her while I started thinking,Oh boy, here comes the show. No aint this a mess! Leon brought me here to see some weird woman who's planted people in the audience to make us think shes a miracle worker. I stayed skeptical, even as she started healing people with arthritis,cancer, and heart disease. I watched as she touched them,prayed over them and caused them to pass out from the power of her prayers. "You", she said, pointing to me. "Would you please come up here?" I looked around embarassed, hoping she meant someone else. She didnt. Tentatively slowly I made my way to the podium where she stood. She hugged me as a mother would hug her child. I fel the heat of her breath as she whispered in my ear away from the microphone so only I could hear. " I know who you are." she said. "I didnt call your name because not everyone reconized you. You look so bad. I been praying for you for a year now. The Lord put you on my heart. He really loves you. Youre one of his children and he sent you here to night so I could heal you in the name of Jesus. I know about your pus, I know about your stomach, I know about your heart palpitations, and the way you sweat at night." I was stunned I hadnt told anyone about any of those things. "The drugs," she said still in a whisper, "are eating at your stomach lining. If you hadnt come here you would have died. Saying that she started praying over me. Suddenly she passed out, falling back behind the podium. Chills ran through me. I stood there stund. They tried to revive her tried to lift her up but she was a big woman and it wasnt easy. When she came to she looked at me and said, " I never pass out during prayer. Youre a powerful spirit in the Lord. I want you to stay after everyone leaves."\ After the service Ivory, Leon, and I followed her into a small room in the back. There she prayed on me agian, holding me close to her, her eyes closed tight, her heart beating loud. Then for the second time, she passed out. Whe she came to the woman said," Ooo wee, your spirit is strong smokey! Youre a positive influence on people and your influence was about to be taken from you. But now youre alright. Now youre cool. The Lord has his arms around you." " What does that mean?" I asked. " You'll go on with your life and you'll be a stronger person. The Lord doesnt want you to start preaching, doesnt want you to sing only gospel music. If you do your secular fans will drop you and the gospel fans wont take you seriously. Just be you. Doing what you do you can get millions to come over to the Lord from all over the world. Dont push your testimony. He will let you know when to give it and he will tell you how." I left the Ablaze Ministry that night feeling higher than at any moment in my life, higher than Id ever been on coke, so good and so high I felt like I was walking on air. Since that night-its been three years-I havent touched or wanted any form of any drug. Just like that the desire left me. Being in show business Im always around that stuff. There have been endless oportunities to get high. Miraculously, Ive not even been tempted. Miraculously I was saved. The Lord washed me clean.

Celebrity Testimony 3: Duane Lee Chapman( Dog the Bounty Hunter)

You Can Run but You Cant Hide Chapter 9 Muder One: The judge set bail at $50,000 each. There was no way I was getting out of jail. As it was my job barely paid me enough to pay my bills. I tried to make extra money by renting a room to women but I always ended up sleeping with them before I could collect the rent. They'd leave or I'd kick them out so LaFonda( his first wife) wouldnt know the truth. Whenever I had a few extra bucks, I squandered it on weed, whores, or my bike. I sat in my cell with nothing to do but think. I had really messed things up. I did'nt realize how much I loved LaFonda and our boys until I sat alone in my cell that first night in jail. I'd taken so much for granted my family, my freedom, my entire life. Suddenly it was all gone. Yeah I know. A guy died. Someone had to pay for taking his life. Someone had to own up to the crime to take responsibility for what he'd done. Why did Donny do it? Why didnt I stop him? Why didnt I know he had a gun? There were many times I wondered if Jerry Lee would have been shot if I was not there that night. He was my friend. I dont believe Donny would have gone to his house if I hadnt been in the car. Did that make me respnsible? The more I thought about this the angrier I got. My rage was becoming unmanageable. If I was going to rot in jail for killing a man I might as well kill one. I wanted to rip someones head off. I didnt care who it was. My rage was out of control. The sheriff would put all the drunks and" Encourage them" to help settle me down. I beat the crap out of every guy they put in there with me. I was unstoppable. I would have beat up a minister it they'd put one in the cell with me. Reverend Gerald Middaugh from Pampa's Assembly of God church wasnt your typical preacher man. He looked 18 years old eventhough he was in his early thirties. He didnt seem like he was old enough to be a reverend. I wasnt sure why he came to visit me in jail but I was certain I wanted nothing to do with whatever he had to say. I was still angry about the whole situation. I didnt do anything wrong. I wasnt suppose to be in jail. The reverend stood outside my cell and began to talk. "Dog do you mind if I call you Dog?" He looked scared to death. "LaFonda tells me you were once a spiritual man. She said you have a strong belief in the Lord. I'm here to talk to you about that." I stared him down. I could feel the blood rushing to my face. "Move along reverend. I aint got nothing to say to you." I spoke in a soft low growl "now listen Dog. I know your angry. God knows youre a good man. A decent man. Youre in a bad situation here." I slowly moved my face toward his. " What do you know about my situation,reverend? You dont know nothing" I held on to the cell bars as tight as I could. My knuckles turned white from the strength of my grip. "Dof you of all people should know that God will show you the way. He will lead from this dark place into the light. You have to trust the Lord. Put your life in God's hands." I was pissed. I didnt want to hear about God or his almighty plan. All I wanted to hear was that I made bail and was a free man. " Unless youre hear to post bail reverend I suggest you get out of here. I aint interested in anything you have to say. I'll use your Bible for rolling papers." The preacher stood motionless unfazed by my anger. Hec I was locked up behind bars. What was I going to do? I couldnt touch the guy and he knew it. Still his willingness to take my mouth was surprising. "If you want the lords help Duane, you have to ask for it. If you want your bail reduced then ask God for reduction in bail. Ask and you shall receive." He spoke with such confidence and assurance. I didnt care. I walked to the back of my tiny cell and never turned around until I heard the reverend slowly walk away. Darn him I thought. Who does he think he is coming in here telling me about the ways of the lord? I walked in small circles thinking about what he had said. He didnt know me. He didnt know nothing about my life. If he did he sure wouldnt be wasting his time on a guy like me. Life in jail wasnt as bad as I thought it would be. I had been arrested many times before so I kind of knew what to expect. I was able to sneak in some drugs mostly pot which helped calm me down and pass the time. It was easy to smuggle in the drugs. I lowered a string from the window of my third floor cell and one of my disciple brothers always hooked me up. Usually it was Little Earl who tied a bag of weed or Fiorenal to the string so I could pull it back up. To be perfectly honest I could have gone down to get the stuff myself. I discovered that previous inmates had tried to saw through the bars on the window. It took me a few days but I finished the job useing a sharpened metal lid from a jar. Id sneak out at night shimmying down a drainpipe. Little Earl was always there. Wed head over to the local bowing alley and grill a couple cheeseburgers. It never once accured to me to run. Where would I go?. Besides if I ran I would be giving up Lafonda and the boys. I wasnt willing to sacrifice my family for freedom. Those kids meant the world to me. They needed their dad. I wanted to be around to see them do the kids stuff. I wasnt going to do anything stupid like bust out of jail. Sheriff Rufe Jordan didnt see it quite the same way as I did. "What on earth are you doing,Dog?" the sheriff asked as I swung my legs through the window leading back into my cell. I was speechless. The sheriff looked completely shocked. Im guessing it was a first for him to actually have an inmate break into jail! He never said another word about it. Despite my constant dismissals the reverend kept visiting trying to lead me back to the lord. LaFonda even brought my Bible in hope that I would find Gods love and light. It had been years since I read my Bible. It took me a few days before I cracked it open. But as I began to read I kept denying the reasons why. I read it because I was bored, alone, sad, angry, frustrated. Thats what I kept telling myself. But looking back it was because of so much more. Reading the Bible brought back many happy memories from years ago. It reminded me of when I was a boy going with mom to Sister Jensens mission and to church with her on sundays. Slowly I began to realize the words were uplifting and healing. I began reflecting on my life. I knew I had made some bad choices along the way, but reading the Bible in jail helped me see that I had probably done more damage than good in my first 19 years. That wasnt how I wanted people to think of me. I am a proud man. I had set of values that guided me. I thought of myself as moral criminal. Yes I stole but that didnt make me a killer. I fought but I wasnt a violent man by nature. I sold drugs and partied. I could chalk up that to being young and stupid. But deep down I wasnt an idiot. That I was sure of. I hoped it wasnt to late to change my life. In my heart I wanted to be good. I wanted to be on the straight and narrow. I didnt want to waste my life spending the rest of days and nights as a hoodlum biker. So for the first time since I was a boy. I began to pray. I asked the lord for help. I begged for his forgiveness and guidence. I took the reverends advice and asked God to reduce my bail. I pleaded with God to show me the righteous path. I promised I wouldnt run around with the Disciples or cheat on my wife. I told the lord I would go straight get a jod and make money on the up and up. I even told the lord that if he helped me I would sell my beloved bike. That might be the hardest promise I had ever made. The proof would be at the hearing which was set fourty-eight hours after I began to pray. There was no way I could come up with fifty grand. "All right God. If youre really out there show me you have heard my prayers. I am being sincere lord. Please God. Help me. Let thy will be done." Two days later I appeared infront of Judge McIllheney. "Bail is set at $5,000." I threw my head back in utter shock "Wow," was all I could say. Darn I was going to miss that bike. When you make a promise to the Lord, you'd best keep it. As soon as I could I began to fulfill all the promises I made to God in jail. He showed me he is a man of his word. Now I had to be a man of mine. First chance I had I paid a visit to my old friend Dale from Bison who was now sellin Kirby vacuums. "Dale I need a job. You gotta help me." I was practically begging. He said,"Ok Dog I'll put you back on but you cant bring your troubles here friend." Next I went to see Reverend Middaugh. I wanted to thank him for his guidence and tell him he was right. I asked and God provided. I wanted to share my rediscovered belief in God. The reverend offered me a job as the church janitor. He even trusted me with a key to the church. That man was my friend. He said" and on Sundays you can help with collections." I smiled knowing no one would let Dog pass by without putting money down. The reverend told me tithing went up significantly in the weeks I passed the collection plate. He was a smart dude. I had to give him credit for seeing that opportunity. Finally I sold my Harley to friend fro $3,000. It almost paid for my fast growing legal fees. I loved that Harley Panhead. It was by far the fastest and best looking motorcycle in Texas if not in the world. For years my enitire indentity had been being a biker. Without a bike who would I be? I spent most of the year waiting to go to trial. I was trying to make up for all the years I'd wasted breaking the law and ignoring God. I committed myself to seeing the error of my ways. I went to church as often as I could. LaFonda and I went every Sunday. Duane Jr sat on my lap as we raised our spirit to God. In addition I often found myself alone in church praying for hope and guidence. I wasnt sure what the future held but I was confident the Lord had a plan.

The Svengali Managers

href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVBkJBJpoEZ6EZRErDWCcyFl_5cyHmCUlVJG411t5J4xBFh2jFcZgUwBn2oXEaWXJUeHDJ6YRe_5lihNzBwZVQQQfGoi3XWWeO_LV_8hctBQEBIPKtbnyyDgWP2dQM8iUGfUGi93pSQuY/s1600/oher.jpg" imageanchor="1" > Michael Oher I Beat the Odds Chapter 9 Steve and Tony: From talking with other kids who grew up in the neighborhoods like mine, I have found out that very often, even the coaches cant be trusted. A lot of times there are guys who coach inner city teams just because they want to "discover" the next big pro athlete who will be their meal ticket in a few years. They arent coaching the kid because they care about them but because they want to be able to hang around when he gets rich and famous: they call him up or come to his house for money. The kid gets used for his talents and there is an expected "payback" for the coach. Its digusting and pathetic, but it happens all the time. Tony seemed to be concerned with helping me develop as a player as well as concern for my well being. I needed that kind of support and I was grateful for it. He tried to help me adjust my attitude and start thinking differently so that I would be ready for whatever opportunities high school sports might bring my way. Natilie Cole Angel On My Sholder Chapter 25 The Grammy Bonanza: Anyone who knows the music world knows how many down and out musicians there are out there.So many gifted and even famous musicians have died broke sick and forgotten-unable to provide for themselves. Not many musicians were born with the advantages my father had given me and they are in need of help and support.

Words of Pastor Richard Penniman aka Little Richard

Chapter 13 God's Beautiful City: There was a big drop in my lifestyle. But there was another thing happening in my life which made up for that- the joy of being with God. The contentment of having peace.You know the Bible tells us in John 14:27 "Jesus says:'Peace I leave with you peace I give onto you." Not as the world gives it. The world gives you a piece of this and a piece of that- a piece of rock,blues,jazz,Bach, and Beethoven. The world gives you pieces. God gives you a whole life eternal. A peace which passess all understanding. God gives you tranquility, that little thing which money can't buy you. I have God to thank that I'm a living legend and not a dead one. I have rejected homosexuality. I have rejected sex. Now I get thrills from my ministry. When I meet people who I have changed through the presentation of God's words, that makes me feel good. Guys that were theives, murderers who are not murderers anymore after hearing me present Christ. I have met black guys that hated white people, who thought all whites were devils. And I have met with white people trained to hate blacks, people who turned away from their hatred by my ministry from Jesus. That's rewarding to me. You know, I don't care how far a man has fallen, or what he has done. Jesus loves him, God guides him, and he's still his son. My true belief about Rock and Roll- and there have been alot of phrases attributed to me over the years-is this: I believe this kind of music is demonic. I have seen the rock groups and punk-rock people in this country. And some of their lyrics is demonic. They talk against God. A lot of the beats in music today are taken from voodoo, from the voodoo drums. If you study music in rhythms, like I have, you'll see that it's true I believe this kind of music is driving people from Christ. It is contagious. I believe God wants people to turn from Rock and Roll to the Rock of Ages- to get ready for eternal life. And I believe I am suppose to walk the way that God says to walk. I belive that God permitted me to be famous for a reason. That my teachings in rock now, as God has shown me, might be believed. God told me,"Little Richard, let the world know that they need to go back and study the Bible." The Old Testament speaks and the New Testamnet says,"Amen, hallelujah." God told me to teach it as it is. Don't add nothing to it. Don't take anything away from it. To preach the unadulterated Gospel. People may not like it. But it's the truth. At times like these we need the Bible. At times like these we need a savior. God told me to teach that all the races are his bouquet- the black,white,red,brown, and yellow. That's what I'm doing now. I'm trying to do that. There are so many preachers in this country that are teaching fake religions. There are preachers who preach only for money. Instead of teaching people to read and study their Bible, they have their own conceptions. Their own terms, their own playing with God's word. And that's a sin in the sight of God. Any man who says he loves God and doesn't keep his commandments is telling a lie. God said so. From a little boy I wanted to be a precher. I always did, because I was raised around them. And I loved God. I always wanted to be a prophet for the Lord. But I didn't know this was going to happen to me. It came. It's not many preachers today that stand up and tell the truth as it is. That will stand up and say "I've been a homosexual and God changed me." There's not many people would say "I've been a dope addict." I believe that God permitted me to become these things so that I could be a witness and an evangelist for all denominations, for all races, colors, and creeds. That God is a loving God. He can save from the guttermost to the uttermost. He is a mighty savior. And if he can save Little Richard he can save anybody, of any denomination or any church. Sometimes the honest way I preach offends some folks. But I'm doing it the way the Lord has told me. I talk about my life as a homosexual and drug addict because I think it is right to tell people what God has done for me. That the same God who saved Peter and Mary Magdalene, a prostitute, saved Little Richard. There's alot of entertainers today going on about being born again. But they're only being born from scotch to bourbon. I like Pat Boone as a friend, but he's trying to serve two masters. He can't light the candles at both ends. Pat believes he can go to Vegas and do his thing, then preach on Sunday. I don't believe we can do that. God has not called us to do that. I can never see myself going back to Rock and Roll. I have no desire to do it. I enjoy preaching the Gospel. I enjoy living the Gospel. What makes the Gospel so dearly endearing to me is that you have to live what you preach. If I was living a double life you couldn't respect me. And I couldn't respect myself. I feel I still have the charisma and magnetism that I had while I was in show business. But I believe it is more so now. Because it is holy. But I think when people come to hear me now, they are coming to hear my story. I'm now a messenger for Christ.

Celebrity Testimony 2: Donna Summers

Ordinary Girl The Journey Chapter 12: The Connection I had financially exceeded my childhood dreams. I had everything I needed except myself! I was what was missing in my life! I was stranded as an artist, isolated, emotionally and spiritually bereft, and prisoner to the most carnal of lifestyles. The only thing I desired was to somehow find a way to reconnect with myself, to be able to reach back across the years to a time when it was only me getting on that stage and singing my heart out, when it was only about showing everyone I had a unique gift. I wanted to get back to that ordinary girl who'd sung that day in church. Where was she anyway? Perhaps this is a place all artist come to sooner or later. The voice I kept hearing in my head was asking the same question: "Where am I?" I had no answer. Each chapter in my life had played itself out and had become part of my past, like the skin of a shedding snake. In 1979, I invited my sister Dara to come stay with me in our guesthouse at Hancock Park whil we were rehearsing to go out on the road. One beautiful L.A. September afternoon not long after her arrival, Dara came into the garden and sat down next to me at the table. I had been sitting alone in my thoughts, sipping a cup of herbal tea. She said she had something she wanted to tell me. "Donna," she began, in a low and serious voice, "I've met a man and I've been praying with him. I think you should meet him. He's sweet and spiritual, and I think he can help you find the way out of your problems." "My problems," I repeated slowly. So that was what Dara thought was bothering me! I shook my head and laughed out loud for a while. The last thing I thought I needed was a new friend. I felt like telling her that in that case she didn't know I already believed in God thank you very much! I had no particular inclination to meet anyone, especially someone who fancied himself some sort of guru. I use to get letters from people all the time saying they were praying for me. These would always offend me. I'd feel as if they were condescending, that these people were trying to help me atone for something they felt I'd done, and yet they had never met me and knew very little about my real life. My point of veiw was so tilted that I was certain everyone was out to get something from me. Including my sister's friend. Especially my sisters friend! As I finished my tea, I told her that not only did I not want to meet this fellow, but I didn't even want him coming on my property to visit her. Of course, I didn't realize at the time that Dara could read me like a book and what she'd read had alarmed her. She was no someone who easily dispensed advice to others. What did she mean anyway? I had a great career. I had all the money I'd ever need, a new, beautiful house,and, most important, a wonderfully cool and comfortable man in my life. " I'm fine....Leave me alone, I'm fine." I said But was I? The truth of course was that my demons had never really gone completely away. They were hiding in a closet in the back of my mind. Deep down inside I believed I was still ugly and awkward. Deep down inside I had not forgiven my past mistakes and was still ashamed for many things I had done. And,yes, she was right; I was in pain. I needed help. I'd wake up in the morning and, while still in bed, throw my arms straight in the air and stay that way for no reason, sometimes for nearly an hour, as if I was trying to reach God. With my hands above my head I'd pray and ask him, Please God tell me what to do." This had been going on for weeks, even before my sister approached me about this man. Before getting ou of bed, I'd longingly wait to hear the voice of God whisper in my ear," I'm still here,Donna I'm still here," but for some reason I could not hear his voice. I was breaking down from the inside. I'd developed stomach ulcers and could barely eat. I was maxed out on all my medications, and the sleeping pills weren't working. I stayed awake for days at a time. I lived in constant fear that my heart problems would resurface and throw me into a hospital or worse. I was starting to have lapses in memory and constant anxiety attacks. On top of it, my already overcrowded schedule was getting more and more insane. I had occasional thoughts of suicide again, even on the medication. Maybe that's what I couldn't hide from Dara? Weeks passed this way, and finally I felt I had absolutely nowhere else to turn. I went back to my sister. Out of desperation, which was barely covered by my unusually cocky manner, I said to her, "Okay. Where is this guy?! I want to meet him." She invited him over the next day. My first impression was the complete opposite of what I had expected, which was some sort of fast talking, wild, religious weirdo. Instead, here was plainly dressed, very humble man in his thirties, almost my peer. After talking with him for a while, I thought to myself,"Look, Donna, I know you're having some problems, and I just want to tell you that no matter what has happened in your life, God will forgive you and God will help you. Let's pray." And I prayed what is called the "Sinners Prayer" with him. For whatever reason, I quickly surrendered to him, taken totally by surprise by his kind and gentle manner. During our prayer a sense of elation came over me that was beyond any spiritual experience I had ever had before. I felt as if a ton of bricks were lifted off my shoulders. This feeling blew into me like a hurricane, through my whole body, taking with it anything and everything that was troubling me. At that moment I felt all my priorities shift, the darkness disappear, and my entire being bathed in light. I started repeating this one word, Abba, over and over again. I had no idea at the time that the word meant Father in Hebrew, and I had no idea why I was saying it, but it kept coming out of my mouth. I began to cry as I repeated it over and over again:" Abba, Abba, Abba...." Through a flurry of tears I could feel something shaking in my deepest being, and I was at once free. Abba, abba, abba. The light came shining into my spirit, and it was a familiar light, although one I hadn't seen for a long time. Abba, abba, abba... That day in 1979, in my house in Hancock Park, was the day I was finally filled by God's Holy Spirit and gloriously born again. The man explained to me, "Being born again means simply that; a person is first born of the body, from the womb of the mother. The second birth is to the birth of the Spirit of God." He continued, "It is the moment of one's infilling with the spirit. And once that happens, everything changes, because you now have God's spirit also within you for the rest of your life. To have God within you is to have faith in God. And, ultimately, to have faith in God is to have asked him into your life,to have faith in what he created you to be, and his ability to fulfill it." Most people call upon God when they are having a personal crisis, when they have no where to turn, when they think they need spiritual recognition, or a special favor. What they don't realize is that making a personal commitment to him means you are always connected to God, and he is always there for you in your heart, in your soul,in your spirit, in your life. For many years I had carried a secret burden of things I had done that were moral lapses of behavior, with no way to cope with the shame. The bad feelings from my past carved themselves into my psyche. As a result I lived with this impending fear of doom, a fatalism that controlled my life until the day I accepted Jesus into it, and realized that since God was really the one I felt I had betrayed, he was the only one who could forgive me. The day I had my conversion was the first day of the rest of my life. I knew I was forgiven and free. I knew at last that God had truly loved me. That day I had spoken his name and he had spoken mine. In an instant I was changed. Faith, I realized, was the key to my future. Without faith it is impossible to please God, and therefore to please yourself. From that day on I renewed my faith in God and was ready to deal with life from a new, more positive perspective. This choice changed everything for me. and for the first time in years, the troubled voices in my head were silent and the dark shadows over my heart disappeared.

Celebrity Testimony: Little Richard

The Life and Times of Little Richard From Chapter 6 Dont Knock the Rock:Richard was ready both spiritually and economically to make the break with the world of shows business. Misuesed ripped off and cheated by racists, promoters and companies, he was also hassled by the International Revenue Service for an accounting of his huge earnings. He was becoming very tired of the heavy traveling schedules and of the business of being a star in general. The spiritual pressures were such that he needed only a sign that he could interpret as divine to clinch the decision. Richard announced his retirement in the middle of a tour of Australia. Headlining a package of artists that included Eddie Cochran, Gene Vincent, and the Bluecaps, and Ali Lesley "the female Elvis" Richard found himself at the center of scenes of frenzied and riotous adulation from the Rock and Roll-starved Australian teenagers. I had never liked flying and I had never been so far on a plane before. It worked on my mind. When it got dark I coul see the engines on the wings glowing red hot, I thought the plane was on fire. My mother had a religious book called The Great Controversy from Ellen White, which showed angels with yellow hair flying. In my mind I pictured these angels flying up under the plane holding it up. It was like a sign to me. It came to me later that the plane wasnt on fire-it was just that I had never been that far away before. It was very strange to me. Then on our fifth date of the two week tour we had left Melbourne for Sydney and fourty thousand people came to see me at the municipal outdoor arena. That night Russia set off the first Sputnik. It looked as though the big ball of fire came directly over the stadium about two or three hundred feet above our heads. It shook my mind. It really shook mind. I got up from the piano and said," This is it. I am through. I am leaving show business to go back to God." The very next day we were leaving Sydney on the ferry, and I had told the fellows in the band that I was quitting. Clifford didnt believe me. So I said, "Would you believe it if I throw this ring in the water?" Clifford tried to grab it and nearly fell into the water behind the boat. There were ten days of the tour left to run, but I would not work anymore. Our tickets home were bought on the basis of a two week tour, but I demanded passage back to the states for the total entourage ten days early. The incredible thing is that the plane we were originally scheduled to return on crashed in the Pacific Ocean. Thats when I felt that God really had inspired me to do the things I did at the time. My frineds and fans all over the world couldnt understand a guy at the height of his career quitting with the world in his hands. One reason was Art Rupe. It seemed that he wanted to buy me body and soul with my own money. Bought things for me, then took it out of my money and said he had bought it. Can you imagine that? Begining in 1959 although I had settled my dispute with Rupe for the recording royalties on my biggest hits, he took the position that this release also covered songwriters royalties and refused to pay me any song writers royalties from that day to this one. Consequently I was forced to institute a federal lawsuit against him and his companies for the millions of dollars I say he owes. The very thought of it is sickening to me now. He's made millions and he should owe me millions. But this was not the only reason I left show business. I wanted to work for the Lord and find that peace of mind. I had always wanted to be a preacher and dedicate my life to God. I knew I had a message to say to the world outside of show business.When I knew I came to God. From Chapter 12 Call My Name: Richard allowed his life to be taken over by drugs and alcohol. They completely dominated and altered his personality. His work was seriously affected and his life threatend. "I spent thousands and thousands of dollars getting high. I got behind financially. I got behind in my life I got so heavily into drugs that for a year I never went to Riverside to see my mother. I didn't want her to see some of the ways my life had come into. I had deteriorated. I came so low that I only weighed about a hundred and fifteen pounds. All I was interested in was getting high. I'd be riding all over the city of Los Angles looking for cocaine. They should have called me Little Cocaine, I was sniffing so much of that stuff! My nose got big enough to back a diesel truck in, unload it, and drive it right out again. Every time I blew my nose there was flesh and blood on my hankerchief, where it had eaten out my membranes. I was smoking marijuana and angel dust and I was mixing it with heroin and coke. It was costing me a thouseand dollars a day and there was always trouble with the dealers. Larry Williams, a guy I started in show business, came to my house with a gun to shoot me. I had got some cocaine from him, arranged to pay later, and didn't show up because I wss high. Larry and I were good friends. He had been with me at Specialty Records. I brought him to fame. We were very good friends but he came to shoot me! That was probably the most fearful moment in my life. That is what drugs can do to you. He said," Richard, I'm gonna kill you. Ain't no one gonna mess around with my money." I knew he loved me I hoped he did! But he had this pistol right there and he would have shot me if I hadn't paid him. I became very nasty, which I never use to be. Cocaine made me paranoid. It made me think evil. It made me feel sorry for myself. When I got high I couldn't sleep. I couldn't get tired enough to sleep. With everybody else asleep I couldn't find nothing to do. It was so boring I started drinking as well. See, I had bodyguards around me constantly. There were so many people around me that when I wanted to raise my hand there was someone there to raise it for me. They would bring me cocaine and I'd take it all the time. I spent my time locked up in a hotel. I'd go to New York City, get a suite in the Waldorf Astoria,and stay there for days, just sitting in a room with the television on all the time. The drugs brought me to realize what homosexuality had made me. When I felt that I wanted to hurt. I wanted to kill. I had never been like that before. I wanted to fight those boys who didn't want to do what I wanted them to do. I had guys working for me who were scared to come into the room to get paid! They were scared of me because my homosexuality was so heavy they could see it in my eyes. Homosexuality takes over your whole mind, but it's an illusion. It's not really any excitement. It's like masturbation it's false. It's not a completeness. When you hug and kiss a man you feel like something is missing afterward. I started to get so demanding that the cats working for me, Ken Dahanna and Keith Winslow, were getting me whiskey. They were getting me drunk so that they could be free. They didn't have no time for themselves. So I became an alchoholic. I would drink everyday, drinking without eating. Now when you're like this, high all the time, you don't really know what's going on. I lost alot of money because people stole from me. A lot of tragedies happened around that time. The first was when a very close friend of mine, a very very close personal friend, who had traveled with me as a valet, called. He wanted to hear me sing and play at Magic Mountain, in L.A. I fixed it up for him to come. My brothers and sisters and my mother were coming but he never did arrive. He got shot in the head that very night at the heroin man's house. Another close friend of mine, called Curly Knight, was coming out of an apartment building one night and some fifteen year old boys beat him and put him in the trunk of his car. Fifteen year old boys. They drove him around the city, then they cut him up with a butcher knife. They broke the knife off his body, put him between two houses, and called the police to say they had found a dead man. They had killed him! When they asked those boys why they had killed him, they said,"We thought he was white." He was a light complexioned man. But isn't that pitiful. He was a man God made and died for. What happened next happened to my brother Tony. Tony and his wife,Nita, were both school teachers. They had a little boy also called Tony. Well, my brother called me and asked me to let him have two hundred dollars to get a station wagon. I was just about to leave for Miami, Florida, to appear at the Americana Hotel in place of Tina Turner, who was sick. I told him I would let him have the money when I got back. Well, when I got back to Los Angeles, instead of going to see Tony, I picked up some people. We checked into a little hotel out in Hollywood and got high and had a good time and let it all hang out because I had made alot of money. The next morning everybody was looking for me. My brother had got up and watered his lawn and took little Tony for a walk. Then he felt a pain in his chest. He went to lie down for a few moments. He died. He died of a heart attack. I never did get over there to see him. Then I knew that God was no respector of persons. God had permitted all these things-maybe to save Little Richard- to open my eyes, to let me know that it could have been me, to let people know that the Rock of Ages is present and the world is getting ready to end. I knew then I was called to be an evangelist for his Gospel. Then something happened that really shook my mind. Ricky, Deanies little boy, who I loved just like I would have loved my own son, got shot dead. He was fooling around with some friends in the street. One of them had a gun and he got shot in the head. It nearly killed Deanie. She was a sister to our family. It shook my mind even more than it was already shook. I thought it might be my turn to die next. I was afraid I was going to die. I always did believe I would die before I was forty and though I was still at the top nothing would satisfy me. Tony's death was the saddest moment of my life. But it was also one of the happiest. I knew after Tony died that I was going to come out of show business. I felt it would be a joy to come out. Tony's death was a door that I didn't want to be opened, but it was opened. And I walked through it. To come out of show business and take my stand on God's side. To be an evangelist for all denominations, for all races, creeds and colors. I had heard God speaking to me to go out and tell the people of the goodness and how he had snatched me from the burning. And gave me a peace, a serenity, a tranquility that I never knew existed. It was as if something came over my whole being. I didn't care about money. I didn't care about popularity. I didn't care about fame or fortune or any of those things. All I wanted was God in my life. I knew that I needed to tell and to share that with everybody. I wanted people to know that the only rock they needed was the Rock, Jesus Christ. The only roll they needed was the Roll of Glory, the Roll of Heaven. That's the only rock and roll they needed. All the other can rock and roll away.