Steve Williams( DR DEATH)

 HOW DR DEATH BECAME DR LIFE CHAPTER 17: GOODBYE DR DEATH:

 I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD. When I was growing up in Colorado my parents would take me and my siblings to church every sunday. It felt very relaxed and comfortable there. THE STAFF THERE WERE VERY NICE PEOPLE TOO. I HAD ALOT OF RESPEECT FOR THAT CHURCH. I LEARNED ABOUT PRAYER, JESUS CHRIST, THE HOLY SPIRIT, AND ETERNAL LIFE.

 Throughout my years from high school to the early years of pro wrestling, I didn't go to church on a regular basis but I tried to live a good lifestyle. I WAS TAUGHT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG. HOWEVER I VERY OFTEN GAVE IN TO THE TEMPTATIONS OF THOSE LATE NIGHT PARTIES AND LOOSE WOMEN. I ALWAYS BELIEVED IN GOD THOUGH!

 I wasn't a bad guy or evil. I never hurt anyone deliberately and always opened my heart to those in need.

 When I met my ex wife TAMMY my relationship with God began to change. I began to go to the church she was apart of SHREVEPORT COMMUNITY CHURCH ASSEMBLIES OF GOD DENOMINATION.

 Though I wasn't familiar with this house of worship I wanted to improve my relationship with God and be a good husband so I began to go to church with TAMMY every Sunday. SOME TIME IN MY EARLY 30S AT THIS CHURCH I ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR.

During my times off I went to church with my family as often as I could. I really wasn't home much at all. In between my wrestling tours in Japan and the USA, I tried my best to be a good parent, husband, and to improve my relationship with God.

 Wrestling business is so tough. I tried my best to behave while I was on the road but I was wild, crazy, and ambitious. It would take my mind off relationship with God and how much I wanted to improve it. All I could think about was making money so that my family could have everything they ever wanted or needed which I couldn't have when I was young. A BIG HOUSE, FANCY CARS, AND BRACES FOR MY DAUGHTERS TEETH.

 Unfortunately me and Tammy got a divorce and this really hurt. Tammy and our two kids, STORM AND WYNDHAM, had been the center of my world and now they were gone. Grief stricken and anxious as well as angry guilty and depressed about how I would live. THOUGH I KNEW THE LORD I WAS STILL RUNNING HARD. Believing it was the best way to deal with the demands of the wrestling business and the pain of my divorce I started drinking alcohol, smoking pot, and doing drugs.

 I was determined not to back to church. I wasn't denouncing my faith or salvation I just simply wanted no part of the ASSMEBLIES OF GOD anymore. I stayed away for a couple of weeks but I could feel that there was an emptiness inside so I went back. I began to enjoy church again. I was hurting from the divorce but all these people in the church loved me like a brother in Christ and that made me feel better. IT ALSO BROUGHT COMPASSION AND PEACE TO MY LIFE AND I ONCE AGAIN COMMITTED MY LIFE TO JESUS CHRIST.

 Though I had accepted the lord before I was backsliding. I was still smoking and drinking so that I could deal with my stress and I was doing drugs to keep up with the wrestling business. Again I was chasing the money so that I could provide my family with a good future and I forgot all about my relationship with God.

  I FINALLY HIT ROCK BOTTOM IN SEPTEMBER 2003 WHEN I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH STAGE 4 THROAT CANCER. The doctors said I only six months left to live maybe a year. I WAS SCARED BUT DEEP DOWN I KNEW BETTER THERE HAD BEEN ONLY ONE PERSON WHO HAD BEEN BY MY SIDE DURING THE GOOD AND BAD TIMES. IT WAS GOD.

 Throughout my life the Lord had always been carrying me and I know longer wanted to do things my way which I had spent my whole life doing. FACING MY PROBLEMS LIKE NEVER BEFORE I TURNED TOWARD GOD. I STOPPED DRINKING ALCOHOL, SMOKING, AND DOING DRUGS FOR GOOD AND I COMPLETELY SURRENDERED MY LIFE TO THE LORD.

Nikita Koloff(RUSSIAN NIGHTMARE)

A TALE OF THE RING AND REDEMPTION CHAPTER 33 THE CONVERSATION: THERE IS A GOD AND I KNOW HIM PERSONALY THROUGH MY LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST. I HAVE WITNESSED THE HAND OF GOD MOVE IN MIGHTY WAYS BUT NONE MORE SO THAN WHAT HE HAS DONE IN MY LIFE. I was raised Lutheran and I would go to church with my mother on those usual church holidays when I couldn't find a way out of it. As I grew up and became focused on other goals, and moved to the suburbs, church kept moving down my list of focus's until it was entirely erased. AS FOR BACK AS MY CHILDHOOD TAKES ME I BELIEVED IN GOD. I DONT BELIEVE THAT I EVER REBELLED AGAINST HIM I JUST DIDNT GIVE HIM MUCH THOUGHT. That was until I left the ring and had a family. I BELIEVE THAT FAITH AND A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD IS JUST THAT; A RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN AND AN INDIVIDUAL. HE TOUCHES ONE HEART AT A TIME IN, HIS TIME My decision to become a Christian was far from what Paul experienced on the road to Damascus. It was a process that ended up changing my life as well as my family. And it started out as you might guess in the gym. Mark Bebee and his wife Barbara were members of our gym. As we were becoming acquainted we learned that Mark was the pastor of our local Lutheran church and like any pastor he kept inviting us to come to church. It was amazing how many excuses we would come up with week after week until we had run out of excuses and agreed to go with them the following Sunday. I always thought ministers and churches were more interested in your money than your soul so as we began to come to church I wasn't expecting much. I say we were surprised by the service. They were not only topical and current but they also stuck to our thoughts as we found ourselves discussing the service as we drove home and sometimes throughout the week. As time went on we kept going to church. I began to realize that my thoughts towards Christians had been somewhat screwed up. Dick and Charlotte Elston were also friends who we met through business and went to the First Assembly of God church of Concord. Dick was extremely knowledgeable in theology and Bible history so Vic(my wife) and I asked them over for coffee so he can give us his thoughts on the sermons. We talked for what seemed like a short time but it was actually hours. As we talked I kept questioning him on different things and anything that popped into my head. WITH EACH QUESTION HIS KIND AND THOUGHTFUL ANSWERS SEEMED TO REACH INTO MY HEART. As the conversation deepened he said, "I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT WHAT IM GOING TO TELL YOU WILL BE THE MOST IMPORTANT IMFORMATION YOULL EVER HEAR IN YOUR LIFE. THE STORY HE TOLD ME WAS ABOUT THE LIFE OF JESUS ABOUT HOW GOD SENT HIS SON TO THE EARTH TO SAVE MANKIND AND TO DIE A HORRIFYING DEATH IN MY PLACE. I HAD HEARD THE STORY BEFORE BUT HE EXPLAINED IT IN A WAY I HAD NEVER HEARD BEFORE. HE FINISHED BY SAYING A PRAYER FOR US AND THEN THEY HEADED HOME. WHEN VIC AND I WENT TO BED DICKS STORY WAS STILL RUNNING THROUGH MY MIND. We then decided we would start going to Dicks church. One Sunday we were running late. When we got to the church it was so full the only seats we could find was in the balcony. At this particular service there was no message by the pastor. Instead he lead the congregation in praise and worship. He lead us in prayer for each other churches and our nation. AS HE PRAYED I BEGAN TO FEEL AS IF SOMEONE WAS WHISPERING IN A SINGULAR NOTE ONE I HAD NEVER HEARD BEFORE. AS THE SERVICE WENT ON SOMETHING INSIDE ME WAS BEATING. IT WAS AS IF SOMEONE WAS POUNDING ON THE DOOR. WITH MY EYES CLOSED AND MY FACE BURIED IN MY HANDS, I FELT A BATTLE BETWEEN MY HEAD AND MY HEART THAT WOULD RIVAL ANY PHYSICAL BATTLE I HAD WITH MY OPPONENT IN THE RING. Towards the end of the service the pastor gave an altar call. HE SAID IF ANYONE GOD HAD SPOKEN TO DURING THE SERVICE WANTED TO GIVE THEIR LIVES TO JESUS AND MAKE A NEW START TO COME DOWN TO THE ALTAR. 2 CORINTHIANS 5:17 READS: "THEREFORE IF ANY MAN BE IN CHRIST HE IS NEW CREATION THE OLD HAS PASSED AWAY AND THE NEW HAS BEEN BORN." AND THATS EXACTLY HOW I FELT INSIDE. THERE IS NO WAY I COULD COMPLETELY EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPEND TO ME THAT DAY BUT I DO KNOW THERE IS A PEACE THAT PASSESS ALL UNDERSTANDING AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I DIDNT FEEL SO EMPTY INSIDE. I STILL FIND IT A BIT BIZARRE THAT FOR MANY YEARS I WRESTLED INFRONT OF HUNDREDS AND THEOUSANDS OF FANS AND NEVER GAVE ANYTHING TO ANY MAN I FACED, BUT ON A SUNDAY MORNING IN A CHURCH THAT PROBABLY HAS NEVER BEEN HEARD OF I SURRENDERED FOR THE FIRST TIME TO SOMEONE I COULDNT SEE. AND NOTHING HAS BEEN THE SAME SINCE. At the end of the service as were leaving an elderly man approached us and asked if he could have a word with me. I agreed and he began to tell me a story that began five years ago. He told me even though he had never been a wrestling fan he knew who I was. One Saturday he had been changing the channels when he came upon a wrestling program with me being interviewed. AS HE HAD HEARD ME SCREAMING HE HAD WONDERED WHY I WAS SO ANGRY. He went on to tell me God was speaking to his heart to pray for me and my salvation because he had a call to ministry on my life and ever since then he had prayed for me. I wasn't exactly sure what he was talking about but I could tell he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. He then told me that for some time he had been ill and wasn't able to come to church. That particular sunday he had hesitated about coming but felt lead by the Holy spirit. He didn't know I was there until he saw me walk down from the balcony. HE TOLD ME HE COULDNT BELIEVE HIS EYES. OUT OF ALL THE CHURCHES IN THE WORLD GOD SENT HIM TO THIS SEVICE SO HE COULD WITNESS ME, NIKITA KOLOFF, SURRENDERING TO THE KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS. HE BEGAN TO CRY AS HE SPOKE. HE SAID HE WOULD CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR ME AND THE PLAN GOD HAD FOR ME AND MY FAMILY. THEN HE SHOOK MY HAND AND LEFT. FROM THAT MORNING ON MY LIFE CHANGED. IT CHANGED AS IF SOMEONE HAD TURNED A LIGHT ON IN A DARKENED ROOM. IT WAS THAT QUICK. IT TOOK DECADES FOR ME TO GET TO A POINT WHERE I WAS READY FOR MY LIFE TO TAKE A DIFFERENT PATH-A ROAD AND LIFE I NEVER INTENDED. PROVERBS 16:8 SAYS "IN HIS HEART A MAN PLANS HIS COURSE BUT THE LORD GUIDES HIS STEPS." My steps were directed to the cross of a Jewish teacher who never went more than 100 miles from where he was born; a man whose words and teachings have transformed all of human history; not with the force of weaponry but a powerful one THE FORCE OF THE HEART AND THE LOVE AND SACRIFICE OF GODS OWN SON. IT WAS AS IF THAT SUNDAY MORNING IN THE FIRST ASSEMBLY OF GOD CHURCH GOD HAD LOOKED AT ME WITH EYES THAT REACHED INTO MY HEART SHONE A LIGHT ON ALL I HAD DONE AND DELIVERED MY LIFE FROM A SEA OF MADNESS. WHEN FACED WITH A CHOICE I CHOSE A NEW LIFE THAT WOULD PROVE EVEN MORE CHALLENGING THAN MY OLD LIFE. BUT IT WAS ONE I WOULD NOT HAVE TO TRAVEL ALONE.

Ted Dibiase(MILLION DOLLAR MAN)

EVERY MAN HAS HIS PRICE CHAPTER 12 THE WHIRLWIND: Over the years the definition EDGING GOD OUT has stuck with me mostly because its the exact description of my behavior during my years as the MILLION DOLLAR MAN One of the saddest things is I knew all along that living a life souled out to the Lord was would be better than this life. BUT I WAS STUBBORN! I would try to get my life in order at certain times but it wouldn't last very long. HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME IN MY SELFISH LIFESTYLE CAUSED ME TO FORGET ABOUT GOD! Not long before I had become THE MILLION DOLLAR MAN me and my wife had been searching for a church near our hometown of Clinton, Mississippi. WE DECIDED TO SETTLE AT MORRISON HEIGHTS BAPTIST CHURCH. We both enjoyed the messages from the pulpit and the Pastor Ken Alford was a real man of God. Pastor Ken Alford and I developed a friendship and it still grows to this day. He wasn't afraid to be honest with me about where my life was heading. ONE DAY HE SHOWED IT. After one morning service Ken warned me, "TED YOU BETTER GET READY." A bit confused by his statement I replied, "READY FOR WHAT?" "THERE ARE BIG TESTS AHEAD FOR YOU. SO YOU HAD BETTER GET READY." It was like the lord had shown him that my life in the days ahead would be caught up in a whirlwind. Doing my best to brush Kens words out of my mind I thought, "ILL BE OK" I believed I didn't need a warning and that it was time to enjoy life. BUT KEN WAS RIGHT. I was not ready for this new lifestyle I began to live by becoming the Million Dollar Man. I GOT CAUGHT UP IN IT IN A BIG WAY. LIKE IN MY COLLEGE DAYS I FORGOT ABOUT THE LORD AND STARTED EDGING HIM OUT AGAIN. I was having a good time completely forgetting Pastor Ken's warning. Melanie, my wife, was trying to be patient and understanding but our relationship was being affected by all the stress and strain caused by this lifestyle. I WAS LIVING IN MY OWN WORLD FEELING I NEEDED NO ONE ELSE NOT EVEN GOD. I learned much about personal pride from my dad he caused me to believe that I was able to pick myself up no matter what. OF COURSE HE NEVER WANTED ME TO BELIEVE THAT I DIDNT NEED GOD. IF YOU CAN GRIEVE IN HEAVEN MY DAD MOST DEFINITELY WAS DURING THESE WAYWARD YEARS OF MINE. HONORING THE LORD WAS THE NUMBER ONE FOCUS IN MY DADS LIFE. If I didn't change I was going to destroy myself and my family. Little did I know that I was about to hit rock bottom. CHAPTER 13: HITTING ROCK BOTTOM AND FINDING FORGIVNESS: IT HAD TO COME CRASHING DOW EVENTUALLY. As the million dollar man I was making more money than I ever believed was possible in the world of wrestling. EVERY WHERE I WENT I GOT FIRST CALSS TREATMENT. In the midst of this whirlwind something terrible started to happen. The million dollar man was not just an act anymore it became my personality. As a result of my celebrity status I began to surrender to the temptations that came my way. IN OTHER WORDS I BECAME WORLDLY! When the main focus of my life should have been on God and my family it was all focused on me. I was basking in my own glory and losing touch with reality. It was all about EDGING GOD OUT in my life but as God always does with those he loves he decided to get my attention. After WRESTLEMANIA 7 in 1992 I was scheduled for a brief layover in the Windy City then I would go to London to begin a European Tour. I phoned Melanie after I settled in my hotel and our conversation was far from just simple talk. Melanie had become aware of some of the situations I was involved in that just weren't right. I don't want to give all the details but lets just say I WAS NOT LIVING A HOLY LIFE. Melanie had decided that the best way to handle the situation was to directly confront me. I knew that the only thing to do was to be honest with her which I was. It was one of the most difficult conversations Ive ever had in my life knowing that the woman I loved so much was suffering such intense pain because of my actions. I told her that I would gladly cancel my trip to Europe so that I could fly home but Melanie was so mad at me she didn't want me to come home. So she told me to just fly to Europe. After I hung up the phone I sat in the empty room and the silence overwhelmed me. Confessing to Melanie was forcing me to confess to myself that I didn't know what to do. Slamming my fist on the nightstand I cried out "WHO CAN I TURN TOO? WHO CAN HELP ME MAKE SENSE OUT OF ALL THIS MESS?" Pastor Hal Santos had been my friend for many years dating back to when I lived in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. All the time we had known each other he had prayed for me out of concern for my spiritual warfare. I knew if anyone could help me it would be Hal. I was sitting in that hotel desperate for answers and I was searching for Hals phone number in my address book. When I found it it was to his home in Bellville, Illinois. "HAL ITS TED" "TED! ITS GREAT TO HEAR YOU. ARE YOU ON THE ROAD OR AT HOME?" "IM IN CHICAGO AND ITS NOT DOING VERY WELL. IM AT THE END OF MY ROPE. I REALLY NEED SOME HELP." "WHATS WRONG?" "IVE BEEN SELFISH AND STUPID," I answered "I SEE," he replied "HAL CAN YOU COME UP HERE? CAN YOU FLY HERE AND SPEND SOME TIME WITH ME PLEASE?". Hal promised to call me back after he checked a few things. As I waited I paced the room like a caged Bengal tiger. In a matter of minutes the phone rang. He said he would be on the next flight which was an answer I was desperately hoping to hear. Before he hung up he said to me, "YOU KNOW TED YOU CALLED ME BUT YOU WERE REALLY CRYING OUT TO THE LORD." I KNEW THAT HAL COULD READ ME LIKE A BOOK. When Hal arrived several hours later I poured out me life to him holding nothing back. We talked, cried, and prayed together. Hal reminded me lovingly yet forcefully, "GOD HAS WARNED YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN." I could only nod my head overcome with shame and need for forgiveness. "THIS IS GODS WAKE UP CALL FOR YOU TED," he said. The more we talked and prayed the more I pleaded with God to give me a second chance to make things right, especially with Melanie. I left for London reluctantly with my only comfort as Hals assurance that he would call Melanie to see if there was anything he could do to help us work things out. After three days of being in Europe Hal called bringing me good news. He said Melanie had agreed to meet with me at his house so I jumped on the next plane to Saint Loius. The promoter excused me from the rest of the tour dew to a family emergency.When my plane first landed Hal was waiting for me at the gate. As we drove to Belleville I asked Hal what I should say to Melanie. I'll never forget the answer he gave me, "TED JUST REMEMBER ONE THING:THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE." "SO I SHOULD JUST TELL HER THE TRUTH?" "YES IM NOT PROMISING IT WILL SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE BUT WE BOTH KNOW ITS THE RIGHT THING TO DO." When we got to Hals home I greeted Melanie, sat down, and told her the truth. LOOKING BACK ON THIS MOMENT I BELIEVE GOD HAD HIS HAND OVER THE ENTIRE ADVENTURE. HAVING HAL THERE WAS A MIRACLE. When I had first called him from Chicago he said he had several appointments the next few days but suddenly they began to be canceled. Time was amazingly being available out of ordinary circumstances. THIS WAS NO COINCIDENCE. Hal and his wife did have an appointment the next day to take a busload of kids up to Chicago to attend a youth convention. After our encounter at Hals home Melanie and I also got on the bus not knowing at all what would happen. After we settled into the hotel we went to the first session which was being held in one of the large meeting rooms on the ground floor. I must admit that I don't remember the preachers name but as he began his message his words bored a hole in me like a laser beam from God. It was a message of forgiveness and it drilled through my hardened heart. As I listened to this servant of God pour out his heart it became the only thing that was important to me. "ACCEPT CHRIST AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR AND YOUR SINS WILL BE FORGIVEN," was the gospel message in its simplest form. It all started to make sense now. As Hal had said GOD HAD TRIED OVER AND OVER AGAIN TO GET MY ATTENTION. NOW I WAS IN SUCH A PLACE THAT ALL I COULD DO WAS LISTEN. The preacher gave an alter call at the end of the service. He invited anyone who wanted to be forgiven to come to the front of the room. IT WAS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT TIME IN MY LIFE. Once he explained the alter call I was the first to respond. I immediately stood to my feet and walked forward. FINALLY I ENDED UP AT THE FOOT OF THE CROSS.FOR YEARS I HAD PROFESSED CHRIST BUT I HAD ALSO SELFISHLY PUSHED HIM AWAY. THAT NIGHT IN CHICAGO WAS WHEN IT BECAME REAL. I WAS BORN INTO THE FAMILY OF GOD! Kneeling down I prayed to God: "DEAR GOD, FORGIVE ME OF BEING SO SELFISH. I WANT YOU TO COME INTO MY LIFE AND TAKE FULL CONTROL. IM NO LONGER HOLDING BACK. YOU BE THE CAPTAIN OF MY SHIP NOW. ILL BE THERE FOR THE RIDE." When I had finished praying then the front of the room became filled with teenagers accepting Christ in their own lives. The MILLION DOLLAR MAN wept uncontrollably in front of all those kids that night. As I cried Hals words came back to my mind THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE. I knew if I was to make my life right with the Lord I needed to have faith to trust him then and there. I knew that if I did that he would fix everything. As I headed back to my seat I knew what Melanie must be feeling. Understandably she was deeply hurt by my selfish life. She wanted to believe that what had just happened was real. I knew that I would have to prove myself to her in the coming time and if she stood with me I would be willing to do that. She did stand with me and to this day Im so grateful that God gave her to me. She had been advised by her Christian girlfriends that instead of filing for divorce she should confront me. " SEE IF YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOUR HEART WHETHER HE REALLY IS SORRY FOR WHAT HE DID OR JUST SORRY FOR BEING CAUGHT." "IF HES TRULY SORRY AND WILLING TO CHANGE THE LORD SAYS YOU SHOULD FORGIVE HIM." they had added. AND THATS WHAT SHE DID "TED, IS THERE ANYTHING YOU WANT TO SAY TO THESE KIDS?" Hal surprisingly asked as we headed to another room to hear Hal give a message. Looking at him closely thinking that he was joking I asked, "ME?" Being perfectly serious he answered, "YES YOU." "WELL OK!" I responded not knowing what to say after what had just happened. What I had said came from a man who knew real brokenness. From the depths of my heart I spoke to the small group of wide-eyed receptive teenagers: "YOU SEE BEFORE YOU A MAN WHO IS SUPPOSE TO HAVE EVERYTHING. BUT I AM HERE TO TELL YOU THAT WITHOUT CHRIST IN MY LIFE I HAVE NOTHING." At the end of the session a man approached me and said he wanted to talk. We moved over to a quiet corner in the meeting room. "IM A MINISTER AND I FEEL I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING," he said as he introduced himself. "I DONT MEAN TO SOUND COLD OR HARD BUT TRUTH IS IM SELDOM BROUGHT TO TEARS BY THE WORDS OF ANOTHER PERSON." Assuring him that I understood I told him to continue. In subdued tones he finally said," SIR! WHAT YOU SAID TO THOSE TEENAGERS HAS BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. GOD HAD USED YOU TONIGHT YOUNG MAN." Then we embraced and we both started crying. IVE THOUGHT ABOUT HOW GOD USED THAT EVENING NOT ONLY TO GET MY ATTENTION BUT TO LAUNCH ME TOWARD A MINISTRY SPECIFICALLY GEARED FOR KIDS. THE LORD REALLY CONVICTED ME TO REACH OUT TO THOSE AROUND ME. MAYBE GOD HAS ALLOWED ME TO GO THROUGH WHAT I HAVE THE GOOD AND THE BAD IN ORDER TO SHOW OTHERS THE VALUE OF HAVING CHRIST IN THEIR LIVES.

Lex Luger( The Total Package)

WRESTLING WITH THE DEVIL CHAPTER 12 TRANSFORMATIONS: We had just finished another Nitro Show! We were about to crack open the beer and the prescription drugs were divided. "NO THANKS I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE," Sting suddenly said. "What do you mean no thanks, " I said looking at him completely shocked. Sting had always been ready to party before so I thought he was joking around at first. Dropping his voice down so that I would leave it alone Sting answered with " Its a long story I don't want to get into it now." I could tell he was serious. By this time everyone had stopped talking and was staring at us wondering what was going on. To pretend that there was nothing wrong I swallowed both of the drugs. I couldn't wait till we were alone so I could get the whole story. "Whats going on," I asked as we drove back the hotel. " Im going to ask for more time off to spend time with my family. Lex, Ive been drowning in drugs and alcohol for too long. Im losing my marriage and my family." "Does this mean youre no longer going to drink beers and take pills with me? I wont tell anybody?" I said sincerely. "I HAVE MADE A commitment NOT TO DO THAT ANYMORE." STING answered not telling me more than that. I thought Sting was only going through a phase and that sooner or later we would be back partying together. "HES MY BUDDY HE'LL BREAK DOWN SOON" I thought. HE NEVER DID.

CHAPTER 13: INJURY AND INTRIGUE: By late 1999 Sting heard about me and Elizabeth Hulette and he confronted me in the cafeteria during a pay per view event. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ,MAN?." STING asked. Acting like I didn't know what he meant I answered with, "What are you talking about?" "YOU AND ELIZABTH?" "DONT WORRY ABOUT IT,"I ANSWERED "NO I DO WORRY ABOUT IT I WORRY BECAUSE OF YOUR FAMILY. CMON YOU GOT THREE PEOPLE DEPENDING ON YOU AT HOME. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" He shot back. Ill never forget the look on Stings face when I answered with," DONT WORRY ABOUT ME PAL. THERES PLENTY OF THE TOTAL PACKAGE TO GO AROUND." Then Stings jaw dropped and he was temporarily out of things to say. I didn't want to hear anymore anyway so I quickly walked away. HOW DARE HE LECTURE ME! I had heard about Stings brother being pastor and that Sting had become what is known as a BORN AGAIN CHRISTIAN. I had no idea what that meant but I was angry. We weren't hanging out anymore. He refused to do any of the things we use too and he wouldn't go to any of those places we would frequently go to. HE HAD GONE RELIGIOUS ON ME. I FELT LIKE I HAD LOST MY BEST FRIEND AND I WAS MAD.

Chapter 20 A TRUE FRIEND IN THE COUNTY COBB JAIL: The County Cobb Jail was to be my home for the next three months and it was not designed with the word fun in mind. There was no TV and the books had torn pages in them from former readers and since there wasn't a clock it seemed like time was standing still. The chaplain who gave me the Bible always knocked on the window of our pod whenever he would walk by. He would smile and motion for me to come to the door and I would wave him off. After a few weeks one of my cellmates suggested I should take the chaplain up on his offer. I figured if I met with him this once he would go away. So the next time the chaplain walked by I met him at the window, "What do you want?" I asked. "I want to talk to you" he answered "Ill have the guards bring you to a room and we can talk for a little bit." When we got to the room he introduced himself again , "IM STEVE BASKINS ONE OF THE CHAPLAINS HERE." It was a little awkward at first just a little getting to know each other talk. When he pulled out his laptop and turned it on I thought OH GREAT HERE COMES THE RELGIOUS STUFF. Instead it was an action movie. "WE COULD WATCH A MOVIE ON MY COMPUTER IF YOU WANT TOO SINCE YOU CANT WATCH TV IN HERE?" "NAH ITS OK," I answered then we talked until it was time for me to go "By the way the foods pretty bad in here isn't it?" "Yeah. Its definitely bad and its not near enough I feel like Im starving all the time." Then he handed me squeezable packets of peanut butter. "Thanks I really appreciate it." "This guy isn't so bad after all." I was thinking. Steve began slipping me packets of peanut butter on regular basis even though he probably wasn't suppose too. I had never talked to a pastor before and I had assumptions about what a pastor was like. But I was surprised Pastor Steve was well normal- a regular guy with issues and challenges. In the following weeks I met with him whenever I could and got to know him much better. We had a lot more in common than I ever would have thought. The only subject we didn't discuss was religion. WHAT A RELIEF! Other than my lawyer, sister, and nephew he was one of my only visitors. Although our conversations had become a regular thing I didn't plan on seeing him again when I got out of jail. Pastor Steve came to me for the last time when I was released from jail on March 2006 " YOU KNOW IVE PUT ON SOME POUNDS THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS AND IVE BEEN MEANING TO GET IN SHAPE. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF US GETTING TOGETHER AT THE GYM SO YOU COULD HELP ME WITH MY WORKOUTS?" "SURE WHATEVER, PASTOR STEVE," I said. I wasn't a personal trainer I only trained myself. I didn't give him my address or phone number or the name of the gym I just simply said, "GOOD LUCK FINDING ME." A few weeks later as I was leaving the gym I heard a familiar voice call out my name. "HEY LEX." I turned around and there was the jail chaplain. I was shocked to see him. HOW DID HE FIND ME THERE MUST BE 100S OF GYMS IN ATLANTA NORTHERN SUBURBS. "IM READY TO GET BACK IN SHAPE IF YOURE WILLING TO HELP." I was caught off guard but quickly recovered. THIS MIGHT BE FUN ILL WORK HIM SO HARD AND MAKE HIM SORE ALL OVER HE'LL NEVER SET FOOT IN A GYM AGAIN. "Why don't you pick me up at the hotel at 11 oclock tomorrow morning?" I said. "That would be great I'll see you then" he said. I didn't answer when Pastor Steve knocked at my hotel door the next morning. I was sure if I waited long enough he would give up. I peeked out of my window a half hour later and he was still there sitting in his car in the parking lot. I could tell he wasn't going anywhere. I figured I had no choice but to come out go to the gym and if I ran him through a Matsuda style workout maybe he'll leave me alone. At the gym I gave it to him with both barrels but he never complained once. By the end I could tell he was totally exhausted. " What time should I be there tomorrow," he asked as he dropped me off at the hotel. I couldn't believe my ears. However when he woke up in the morning he'd be so sore he would have trouble even getting out of bed. But the next day there he was sitting in the parking lot ready to go to the gym. In spite of my efforts to make him quit he was there every morning. Surprisingly I began to enjoy training him and watching his progress. Soon we weren't just going to the gym together. Steve offered to help me with my personal issues I needed to take care of. First I had to smooth things over with my probation officer. Then he went with me to the Cobb County Courthouse to pay some additional fines that I owed. Instead of having to pay they refunded me 700 dollars that had been over paid! I couldn't believe it and I began to call Pastor Steve my lucky charm. " You know Lex I think we should drive down to the DMV and get your license back. No harm in trying," he said one day. I was under the impression that it would be a long time before I would ever get my drivers license back but we walked into the DMV and boom! I walked out with a new drivers license with no hassles or delays. There was also a time we stopped by Walmart which I had never bee to in my life. As we walked around the store we were greeted by wrestling fans and well-wishers. Then we went to Golden Corral for lunch another place I had never been before. Again people came up to me to say hello. I realized this was Steves plan to get me out to places where everyone was glad to see me. Truthfully after all the bad stuff that had happened their reactions caught me off guard. I didn't know what to make of it but it felt kind of good. I was getting more and more comfortable hanging out with Pastor Steve I eventually started asking him questions about religion. I peppered him with all kinds of questions. He always answered thoughtfully or admitted he didn't have all the answers. I appreciated his honesty. One day we were running errands together when I decided to stay in the car when Steve made one of his stops. I noticed a religious leaflet in the side door pocket with the words GODS SIMPLE PLAN OF SALVATION. I began reading it but I stuck it in my pocket when Pastor Steve came back. I didn't mention anything to him. That evening I took the leaflet out and read through it. I understood the words but not what they meant. Phrases like "BEING BORN AGAIN" made no sense to me. I had already been born HOW COULD I BE BORN AGAIN?. For the next couple of weeks I read again and again that small leaflet but I never asked Pastor Steve about it. Not long after Pastor Steve asked, "DO YOU REMEMBER DR FRADY, THE HEAD CHAPLAIN AT THE COUNTY COBB JAIL?" It didn't ring a bell with me "HE PASTORS CLARKDALE FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH. I OFTEN GO TO THE SERVICES THERE. ITS CASUAL. YOU DONT HAVE TO DRESS UP. WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET ME THIS SUNDAY EVENING? WE COULD GO EAT AFTERWARD." It was the question that I had been waiting for wondering when he was going to ask it. "Sure," I said. "The service starts at 7 oclock Ill meet you there."

CHAPTER 21 RECONSTRUCTION ON THE ROCK: I arrived at the church 7:10 PM. Since I didn't see Steves car in the parking lot I figured he had gotten a ride with someone else. I went up to the large white doors but I hesitated out of an major case of cold feet. Debating with myself I went back to my car and sat for another ten minutes. "I should just go home and call Steve later" I thought. But Steve could have been waiting inside and I didn't want to let him down. So I went to the doors again in hesitation. This time I slipped inside and found a seat in the last pew. Dr Frady was into his message in the front pulpit. I heard it was from the SERMON ON THE MOUNT when Jesus was speaking to a large group of people and then he read Matthew 7:24-27. About the wise man who built his house on the rock and the foolish man who built his house on the sand. " WHEN WE BUILD OUR LIVES AROUND OTHER PEOPLE,MONEY, OR WHAT WE CONSIDER SUCCESS WE' RE PUTTING OUR FAITH IN NOTHING," Dr Frady had said " THINGS THAT WILL NOT LAST AND WE CANT COUNT ON. WHATS YOUR LIFE BASED ON? THE ROCK OR THE SAND? WHEN YOU LIFE IS BASED ON THE ROCK YOUR HOUSE WILL STAND STRONG NO MATTER WHAT." Hes describing my life, My life has been built completely on the sand. I envisioned my mansion in Sugarloaf, my cars,clothes, and jewelry. Everything that I considered the evidence of my success piled together on a sandy beach. Then there was a huge wave crashing on shore and within moments everything was gone, washed out to sea. Like the house of the foolish man was. It all seemed so real. My breath was nearly taken away by the impact of what Dr Frady was saying. It seemed like he was just standing a foot away as he spoke. Of course in reality Dr Frady was out front and there were so many pews between us. Still I felt like it was just him and me alone in the room. Even though Dr Frady was talking I TRULY BELIEVED IT WAS GOD-NOT HIM-SPEAKING DIRECTLY TO ME. EVERYTHING I HAD BELIEVED TO BE SO INPORTANT-CHASING FORTUNE AND GLORY WAS JUST EMPTY. Dr Frady asked if there was anyone who wanted to commit there lives to Jesus Christ and invited them to come to the front of the church I took that chance to head out the door and back to my car. I was sweating and my heart was racing. I didn't know what was going on with me. OH MAN THAT WAS A CLOSE CALL," I THOUGHT TO MYSELF. Later that night I called Steve and asked him why he wasn't at the church. He said that he couldn't make it and that he had left me a message. I had a bad habit of not checking my messages. " I had a suspicion that Pastor Steve had tipped off Dr Frady so that he could target me with his message. So I asked Steve if he told Dr Frady that I would be there that night. He answered that he hadn't. I couldn't stop thinking about the message the entire week, the contrast of the rock and the sand. All of my bad choices I had made and what was based on them the things that I believed made me successful to myself and other people really had been nothing. IT WAS BUILT ON THE SAND. I KEPT PULLING OUT THE LITTLE PAMPHLET I FOUND IN STEVES CAR AND READING IT BUT IT STILL DIDNT QUITE CONNECT WITH ME. It was April 23, 2006 and Steve and I were hanging out at my apartment watching the LA lakers game. We were just casually talking when I decided to bring up what had been bugging me all week. I pulled out the pamphlet and told him about finding it in his car. "IVE BEEN GOING OVER IT A BUNCH OF TIMES AND I JUST DONT GET IT?" Suddenly we both jumped to our feet. " WHAT ARE WE STANDING HERE FOR?" I asked." "THIS IS THE MOMENT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR," Steve replied "WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?" "BE HONEST, LEX ARE YOU REALLY HAPPY WITH THE DIRECTION YOUR LIFES TAKEN RIGHT NOT?" "NO, HONESTLY IVE MADE A COMPLETE MESS OF THINGS." "THATS OK,LEX. WE ALL MAKE A MESS OF THINGS WHEN WE TRY TO DO THINGS OUR OWN WAY. BUT THERES A MUCH BETTER WAY FOR US ALL. GOD HAS ALWAYS HAD A PLAN FOR EACH OF OUR LIVES INCLUDING YOURS." "STEVE IVE DONE SO MUCH STUFF. ITS TOO LATE FOR ME." I thought I had gone too far down the road and didn't think I could ever make up for what I had done. It was the most honest I had ever been with myself. "WE ALL FALL SHORT WHEN WE DO IT ALL ON OUR OWN." Steve was right. I was weary. After trying to do things myself I only managed to make a wreck out of my life. I had been a ship without a rudder, beyond hope. "YOU DONT HAVE TO FIGHT ANYMORE. MOVE OVER AND LET GOD TAKE CONTROL. LET HIM STEER." Steve replied. "YES I WAS READY TO SURRENDER READY TO LET SOMEBODY ELSE TAKE CHARGE OF MY LIFE. I WANTED TO GET OUT OF THE WAY; I WANTED TO BE SAVED FROM MYSELF. IT WAS NEVER CLEAR TO ME UNTIL THAT MOMENT. "WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?" "ASK GOD FOR HIS FORGIVNESS." " MAN ALL THAT STUFF IVE DONE AND ALL THE PEOPLE IVE HURT- I CAN BE FORGIVEN FOR EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW?" "YES YOU CAN." We both got down on our knees infront of the couch and I repeated the words that Steve prayed and with the first I broke down: "GOD IM A SINNER. JESUS PLEASE FORGIVE ME. COME INTO MY HEART AND TAKE OVER MY LIFE." And then an incredible thing happened. The same brilliant light that I had seen in my dream- the tiny speck that had pulled me out of the muck and darkness- I felt it inside of me. It purged me on the inside with such power that I thought I was going to burst! IT WAS LIKE BEING POWERWASHED BY LIGHT, WASHED CLEAN OF THE DARKNESS INSIDE OF ME. I HAD NEVER FELT ANYTHING LIKE IT BEFORE. AS I STOOD UP IT HIT ME I HAD BEEN KNEELING OVER THE SAME SPOT ON THE COUCH WHERE I WAS NEARLY 10 MONTHS EARLIER WHEN I HAD OVERDOSED. ONLY GOD COULD HAVE ARRANGED THAT FOR ME TO BE RAISED TO A NEW LIFE WITH HIM IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE I HAD NEARLY DIED. THERE WAS NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THAT SOMETHING SUPERNATURAL HAD JUST HAPPEND.

CHAPTER 22 A WHOLE NEW LIFE: I was immediately aware that I was starting a brand new journey. I felt completely different from the inside out. I realized I wasn't alone anymore. I sensed God was going to guide me from now on, which gave me incredible peace and relief. Instead of isolating myself I became more outgoing and was excited to be around people again. When I asked Steve what was happening to me he said it was the Holy Spirit living in me and working through me. I WASNT SURE WHAT THAT MEANT BUT IT FELT GOOD! EVERYTHING IN LIFE BECAME FASCINATING TO ME,AND I WANTED TO TAKE IT ALL IN. I started bugging Steve. WHATS NEXT? DO I GO TO CHURCH WITH YOU EVERY SUNDAY? WHAT SHOULD I DO? Suddenly I was hungry to learn new things instead of being a know it all. THAT WAS A BIG CHANGE FOR ME. My friendship with Sting had instantly taken on a new meaning. I understood everything that had taken place in his life because it was now happening in my life. We were two brothers being reunited.

Shawn Michales(HEARTBREAK KID)

Shawn Michaels Wrestling for My Life Chapter 2: FROM BOTTOM UP: My time to hit rock bottom began on the couch on a Friday evening. Me and my two year old son CAMERON had just finished our weekly pizza and cookies night which both of us loved to do every week. This Friday was another story. I was going through another one of my phases caused by too many pills in the day and I was only half aware of what was going on around me. When he was eating cookies Cameron crawled up on me and said, "DADDYS TIRED." That was the moment I can look back too and realize eventhough I was unaware of it then Cameron had figured out who I was.

After I put Cameron to bed I fell asleep on the couch and sometime later Rebecca helped me to bed. In the middle of the night I woke up and shook her asking this question, "WHO ATE THE COOKIES?" "YOU DID," she answered. Being angry at myself I stormed to the bathroom and asked her the question again and she gave me the same answer. Sobbing uncontrollably I stared at myself in the mirror and thought to myself, "YOURE A PIECE OF TRASH." For the first time reality had set in: MY SON WAS BEGINING TO NOTICE WHO I WAS AND IT WAS GOING TO AFFECT HIM. I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF RUINING NOT JUST MY LIFE BUT MY SONS AS WELL. "LORD PLEASE CHANGE ME", I cried out. I didn't exactly have real communication with God. Infact that night was the first time I ever cried out to him. I had grown up going to church and knew who God is but I didn't know him. What I did know about God was enough to recognize that I was not living the way I was suppose to be. The next morning Kevin Nash called me as he had done the night before because he was concerned about how I sounded. "ARE YOU STILL TAKING PILLS," he asked. "EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE," I answered. There was time when I would take 30-35 pills a day mostly muscle relaxers, to help deal with the pain I had experienced from 15 years of wrestling. I was only taking pills on weekends now and by comparison that seemed like a major accomplishment. But to Nash told me it was still way too much if it happened in front of my family. "YOU HAVE A WIFE AND KID NOW YOU CANT BE DOING THIS ANYMORE," Nash replied The conversation played through my mind the rest of the day the next morning I promised Rebecca again that I was going to stop using drugs for good. She didn't really believe me for she had heard it many times before.
  It was when Rebecca was first expecting Cameron was when I had first sworn that I would stop with the drugs and alcohol. I had told myself," YOURE GOING TO HAVE A CHILD YOU HAVE TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER." But I didn't. I honestly don't believe that I was an addict I could have stopped taking pills or getting drunk anytime but I didn't want too. I had made a deal with myself that I would stop when our child was born. But I still didn't stop when the time came because I thought to myself, "HES JUST A BABY! HE ISNT OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW WHAT YOURE DOING." I began to believe it was acceptable if I reduced my drug use to only weekends. But I was still doing them and after that night on the couch I began to realize I had come to the point when my son was aware of what was happening whenever I got tired.
  Not long before we were married Rebecca had asked me if I believed in JESUS and I had answered her with, "YES IM CATHOLIC." NOWADAYS SHE BELIEVES THAT WHAT SHE SHOULD HAVE ASKED WAS "DID I ACTUALLY KNOW JESUS." AT THAT TIME I DIDNT

  Growing up I had a mindset that if I did good things and not bad I would be in good shape spiritually as well as physically. I was an obedient kid so whenever my parents would go to church on Sunday mornings or attend mass I would always go with them. I was an altar boy, I did my confessions and my communions I also went to Catholic School up till the fifth grade. Now I know I was only doing them because my folks were doing it. There was never any severe consideration of a relationship with God I thought doing the sacraments was what made you a Christian. Never in the church, at the school, or at home did I hear that to be saved I had to receive Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I had heard of becoming BORN AGAIN but I didn't know what it meant. I never opened a Bible and read where Jesus clearly said YOU MUST BE BORN AGAIN TO ENTER THE KINGDOM OF GOD. I was In mass every sunday I was doing everything I was suppose to inside and outside the church. I was getting into less trouble than all of my siblings. SO AS FAR AS I KNEW I WAS GOOD. I strikes me that even though I had grown up in the church without being aware of what it truly was all those years later it became a magnet drawing me back to where I needed to be. Church became like a fire extinguisher in a hotel lobby:" IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY BREAK GLASS." Im not saying faith is only an emergency option Its much more than that. But I recognized that my life had reached an emergency status. MY SITUATION CALLED FOR BREAKING THAT GLASS. We started going back to my catholic church but Rebecca didn't like it and thought we need to find another church. SHE SUGGESTED CORNERSTON CHURCH.

It wasn't far from our house and Rebecca had seen the pastor, JOHN HAGEE, on television before. I wasn't excited about going to a TV church but it gave me credit for being a supportive husband. SO WE WENT TO CORNERSTONE. After the service I told Rebecca to scratch the church off our list and we went back to my catholic church the next week. AGAIN REBECCA WASNT HAPPY THERE SO WE KEPT LOOKING. Looking for new church, reading the Bible that Rebecca had given me and some other books on fatherhood motivated me to only take pills on Friday nights. Though I still hadn't quit yet but I believed I was taking determined steps in the right direction. One day in April 2002, I was driving around with Cameron in his car seat without realizing where I was, I pulled to a stop in the Cornerstone Church parking lot. "WHAT ARE WE DOING DADDY," Cameron asked. "I DONT KNOW SON. WERE JUST SITTING HERE," I answered. After I finished a phone call I finished my errands and returned home. Rebecca had started taking part in a Bible study which I was fine with despite my shortcomings, because I loved Rebecca more than anyone and I wanted to be a supportive husband. I started to notice the differences in Rebecca, especially how at peace she seemed. Even though she had always said that she loved me and she backed that up consistently, even though I was hard to live with. She didn't start overlooking my taking pills and passing out on the couch; instead it seemed like she had gained a renewed belief in me that I could change and she wouldn't be the one to make it happen. When I told her about parking in the parking lot of Cornerstone for no reason and after what I had seen happen in her life I also needed to find a Bible study that I could belong too. The next day I returned to Cornerstone asked the lady at the front desk at the church office that I was looking for a Bible study. I was to learn later that one of the pastors had heard me from his office and knew who I was. He had thought this was some kind of wrestling story for television. Another pastor did come out of his office and introduced himself as Keith Parker. Then he invited me to his Bible study. He gave me the address and told me to be there at 7:30 the next night.

  When I arrived a little before it started Keith asked me if I was a Christian. "NO BUT I WAS RAISED CATHOLIC." I answered. "HAVE YOU EVER BEEN BORN AGAIN?" he asked " NO I WAS BORN JUST THIS ONE TIME THAT I KNOW OF," I answered " WOULD YOU LIKE TO ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD AND PERSONAL SAVIOR?" Keith asked. I answered him that I would. He then asked me if I knew the sinners prayer. I went through all the Catholic prayers I knew in my head and that one didn't cross my mind. THEN KEITH LEAD ME IN THAT PRAYER AND I WEPT LIKE A BABY. I COULD FEEL WHAT IVE HEARD OTHER DESCRIBE ABOUT WHEN THEY KNOW THEYVE BEEN SAVED. MY BURDENS WERE FALLING OFF AND MY CHAINS WERE BREAKING. UP TO THAT POINT I HAD BEEN FEELING MANY CHANGES TAKING PLACE WITHIN ME. BUT STILL I FELT LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING ELSE MISSING AND I DESPERATELY NEEDED IT BUT COULDNT FIGURE OUT WHAT IT WAS.AFTER SAYING THAT PRAYER I KNEW THAT WHAT HAD BEEN MISSING WAS SALVATION. A FEW WEEKS LATER I WAS BAPTIZED AS A PUBLIC PROCLOMATION THAT I HAD INDEED ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR. I CAME OUT OF THAT WATER FEELING VERY DIFFERENT ON THE INSIDE. IT WAS A HUMBLING PROCESS FOR ME TO GO THROUGH THIS IN FRONT OF ALL THOSE PEOPLE AND I BELIEVE GOD HONORED MY OBDIENCE TO HIM. IVE WONDERED WHETHER BEING A PUBLIC FIGURE HAD KEPT ME FROM BEING HUMBLE ENOUGH TO TAKE SOME OF THE OBEDIENT STEPS I HAD BEEN NEEDING TO TAKE FOR MANY YEARS.
  After the Bible study I drove home quickly for I couldn't wait to tell Rebecca what had happened. "OH MY GOODNESS, ITS JESUS I MADE HIM MY LORD AND SAVIOR!" I told her as I walked through the doors. With a big smile Rebecca stated that she knew all along that it was Jesus that I need in my life. But I needed to find it myself and She hadnt wanted to push me into it either. Im thankful that I had a wife who was praying for me. Throughout the entire time leading up to that night Rebecca never nagged me. But she hadn't given up on me either despite the circumstances. She had every right to nag me into changing my ways but she didn't. Instead she showed me love and let the transformation in her life be an example, and more importantly she faithfully and persistently prayed for me. I WILL FOREVR BE GRATEFUL FOR REBECCA.

CHAPTER 13: FREEDOM IN FORGIVNESS: I choke when I think about how deep the forgiveness from God is and has been given to me. I was a sinner born into sin and I became someone I know I shouldn't have become. I was raised in a good loving family ALL OF WHOM KNOW THE LORD NOW and I was taught right from wrong. It all started as having fun, like all sin, and before I knew it I was in so deep that I couldn't remember how I got there or how to get out. The truth is I didn't really recognize as sinful. In my mind it was just my life and I wasn't hurting anybody else. Of course I was wrong but that's what I believed. I knew I was hurting myself but since I didn't like myself I didn't care. My wife, parents, family, friends they were also being hurt by what I was doing. I just didn't recognize it. When youre living in a life of sin youre unaware of whats happening around you. They need something to wake them up and mine came that Friday night on the couch when Cameron crawled up on me and said, "DADDYS TIRED." THAT WAS WHEN I REALIZED I WAS NOT JUST HURTING MYSELF BUT I WAS HURTING OTHERS AS WELL. Sometimes I hear that some people reject God because theyre afraid of what they would have to give up. WHEN I REMEMBER MY LIFE BACK THEN WHY WOULD I NOT WANT TO GIVE UP THAT DEATH DEALING WAY OF LIFE FOR THIS NEW LIFE IM LIVING NOW. The freedom that God can provide brings the most liberating feeling a person can experience. MY FREEDOM ALMOST COST ME MY LIFE. I COULD HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE WRESTLERS WHO HAD OVERDOSED IN A LONELY HOTEL. I NEVER APPRECIATED LIFE UNTIL I ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST AS MY LORD AND SAVIOR. I HAD NEVER UNDERSTOOD THAT THE KEY TO LIVING A LIFE OF FREEDOM IS TO GIVE UP YOUR FREEDOM OF LIVING LIFE YOUR OWN WAY. IVE GIVEN UP SOME OF MY RIGHTS IN THINKING I CAN GO OUT AND DO WHATEVER I WANT. IT TAKES HUMILITY TO SERVE A HOLY GOD AND CHOOSING TO BE OBEDIENT WITHOUT FEELING LIKE YOURE A KID. YOURE REWARDED BY THE FREEDOM OF KNOWING THAT THE GUILT AND SHAME OF WHAT YOU USE TO BE IS GONE. ITS FREEDOM TO REMEMBER THAT NOTHING CAN SEPERATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD. ITS NOT A GET OUT OF JAIL FREE CARD BUT THE FORGIVENESS THAT GOD GIVES MAKES YOU AWARE THAT YOU CANT KEEP LIVING YOUR LIFE THIS WAY. THIS FORGIVENESS CAN ALSO TRANSFORM YOU SO THAT YOU DONT KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DID BEFORE. ETERNITY IS GOING TO BE GREAT AND I LOOK FORWARD TO IT EVERYDAY. BUT CHRISTIANS ALSO FACE PROBLEMS EVERYDAY IN THE HERE AND NOW. WE DO HAVE OUR DIFFICULT TIMES AND WE DO GET HURT. IT PAINS ME TO THINK ABOUT KIDS GETTING CRUELY BEATEN DOWN NONSTOP ALL THE TIME JUST BECAUSE THEYRE SAVED. IVE BEEN THERE TOO AND IVE MADE IT THROUGH BY RELYING ON KNOWING WHO I AM IN CHRIST AND KNOWING WHO HE HAS MADE ME TO BE. Sometimes to help us grow in our faith God choses to be silent for a short time even though to us it may not seem like a short time. When God is silent that doesn't mean he isn't there. He is with us every step of the way making a closer relationship with us by us learning to put our trust completely in him AND I MEAN COMPLETELY. Trials, tribulations and tests are only for a season. They never have the final say. Not even death has the final say. Im not afraid to die but I don't want to die yet. I love being with my wife and I enjoy watching my kids grow. BUT WHEN I DO DIE I KNOW WHERE ILL BE SPENDING ETERNITY When I returned to wrestling I was a changed man with a new way of thinking and I went into a world where Jesus was on the bottom of the list of thoughts. I never walked through the curtain on the way to the ring without first praying to God and asking him what I could do to glorify him. As a way of shining my light in the darkness I would also pray in the arena or the stadium. I didn't have a standard prayer but it was often based on,"LORD HELP ME." ALL I WANTED WAS FOR GOD TO HELP ME BE A GOOD WITNESS ON THE PLATFORM WHICH HE HAD ALLOWED ME TO RETURN TOO. WHEN I ENTERED THE LOCKER ROOM THERE WAS NO ARROGANT DECLARATIONS OR CHALLENGES WHICH IS WHAT I USE TO DO.INSTEAD I WANTED THE OTHER GUYS TO SEE A HUMBLE MAN WHOS CHANGED LIFE BOLDLY DECLARED, "FOLLOW CHRIST!" Compared to whats most important in life wrestling looks so silly to me. YET GOD TOOK THIS WRETCH OF A MAN, GIFTED BUT BEATEN, FORGAVE ME OF MY SINS, BROUGHT ME BACK TO WRESTLING AND LIFTED ME HIGHER THAN I THOUGHT WAS POSSIBLE. ALL GLORY IS GODS!

Joe Laurinaitis(ROAD WARRIOR ANIMAL)

ROAD WARRIORS DANGER DEATH AND THE RUSH OF WRESTLING Chapter 19: SPIRITUAL REBIRTH AND THE END OF AN ERA: When I was trying to pick up the pieces of my dying career I had a down morale, a bad mood, and my temper was being tested. I knew in my heart and mind that I needed something to help anchor me. I couldn't quite put my finger on it until a sign was put into my hand. After doing a film shot in Albuqergue I ran into Nikita Koloff. He had semiretired from wrestling in the 90s and became an ordained pastor. During the week he would wrestle and on weekends he would preach. He had given me a copy of his autobiography BREAKING THE CHAINS which he told about his issues as a young man and when he found JESUS CHRIST his whole life changed. I had never really looked at the book before but this time I read it from cover to cover, in my hotel room, and it made a huge impression on me. After that I tried to work through everything I had read and known about CHRISTIANITY. I knew a lot of other wrestlers had used the religion to get a second chance with the wrestling executives after they had made a mess of themselves but then theyd just turn it around and do it again. I DIDNT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THAT. FOR ME TO GIVE MY HEART UP TO SOMETHING IT HAD TO APPEAL TO ME. A few days later Julie picked me up from the airport I told her about Nikitas book and that maybe there was something more to this spirituality thing. Thinking that a good work out would clear my mind I asked her to drop me off at the gym. When I went for a drink of water five of the biggest guys Id ever seen were staring right at me. It was the Christian group THE POWER TEAM. Big Russ, one of the members and former Hells Angels member from Texas, asked me the question," HEY ANIMAL DO YOU HAVE JESUS IN YOUR LIFE?" I answered by staring at him blankly and stating, "BRO, I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON." It was true whatever was rolling in my head lately I couldn't figure it out. Then THE POWER TEAM invited me to their event in town at the LIVING WORD CHRISTIAN CENTER. WITH AN OPENED MIND I ACCEPTED AND TOOK MY WHOLE FAMILY WITH ME. Sitting in the front row of this 10,000 seat facility we watched all of theyre typical strong man exhibtions. LOOKING BACK ALL OF IT WAS GOD KNOCKING AT MY DOOR. The moment of truth came when they did what the CHRISTIAN FAITH call the alter call. An alter call is when a preacher invites you to come up infront of everyone and invite the Lord as your savior. When you respond to an alter call it means you have decided to ask yourself, "DO I REALLY WANT A RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD?" YOU ADMIT THAT YOURE A SINNER AND SAY A PRAYER OF REPENTANCE. I was having an internal struggle at this point DO I GO? DO I GO? Im convinced the Holy Spirit worked through my boy JAMES because he took me by the hand and said, "DADDY LETS GO." SO WE WENT UP AND ACCEPTED JESUS CHRIST INTO OUR LIVES.THAT WAS A MIRACLE. Julie had been raised Presbyterian and I was raised Catholic but we never really knew what it meant to have a real relationship with God. BY BECOMING BORN AGAIN WE WERE ABLE TO KNOW WHAT IT REALLY IS. Today I travel telling people about what God has done in my life and I know that he is with me as I fly through the airways and when Im bringing his grace into the Devils neighborhood. GOD HAS HIS HAND ON ME ALL ALONG. I have lived a crazy life but after giving me an opportunity to have my name on every television network over the years, God turned my life around so that I may glorify his name. I HAVE HIM TO THANK FOR EVERYTHING ESPECIALLY FOR LEADING ME AND MY FAMILY TO THE LIVING WORD THAT NIGHT. About a year after we all got saved Hawk called said we were going to do a show in June. "I CANT, BRO" I had answered, " IM MEETING WITH NIKITA AND TED DIBIASE(MILLION DOLLAR MAN) IN PHEONIX FOR THE ATHLETES IN MINISTRY CONFERENCE." Being familiar with my faith and having much respect for it Hawk said he would call me right back. A minute or two later he did call back and asked if he and his wife could come too. I was surprised at Hawks request but I quickly said it was ok with me. When I arrived with everyone in my family (except for Joey who was fighting in Iraq)Hawk was the first one to greet us and he was so excited to be there. Many of the other wrestlers were there too such as: STING, TERRY TAYLOR, AND SHAWN MICHAELS WHO WERE ALL NEW BROTHERS IN CHRIST. IT WAS LIKE A BIG FAMILY AND INFRONT OF THAT FAMILY MY FAMILY AND I WERE BAPTIZED BY NIKITA KOLOFF RIGHT THERE IN THE CONGREGATION WADING POOL. YOU KNOW THERE WAS A TIME WHEN BELIEVERS WERE CLOSET CHRISTIANS BUT THOSE TIMES ARE OVER. Later when it was time for the alter call I got the surprise of my life when Hawk and Shawn Michaels hugged eachother and went out front to accept Christ. They use to hate eachother and Seeing those two crying in eachothers arms like babies was one of the most touching and enduring moments between two people I have ever seen in my life. THIS WAS LONG OVERDUE FOR HAWK I COULD SEE PERSONAL HEAVY BURDENS LIFT RIGHT OFF HIS SHOULDERS. When Hawk gave his life to Christ there was change in him. He was back to the true partner I knew from the early days and his lifestyle was much cleaner. When we talked on the phone he would end with, "HEY JOE I LOVE YOU MAN." Hawk really did become a much more lovable guy and even more so a dependable ROAD WARRIOR. Hawk and I really thought we were climbing back on top of our game together in the ring. Our timing was right on and the fans were making us feel like old friends. Things were really starting to look up and then they came crashing down again. Late in the day of October 19,2003 the phone rang and the voice on the other end said, "HEY ANIMAL DID YOU HEAR HAWK DIED LAST NIGHT?" I didn't really believe it. I didn't want too. When I could finally think straight I called his wife, Dale. She and Hawk had been moving boxes the day before so that they could move into their new condo in Indian Rocks Beach, Florida. When they went to bed everything seemed fine but Hawk never woke up in the morning. HE DIED OF HEART FAILURE IN HIS SLEEP. When I hung up the phone I told my family the news and we hugged and prayed together. After 46 years of living as well as 20 years of being the most imposing and comedic character in professional wrestling, MICHAEL HEGSTRAND AKA HAWK, my dear brother and partner found eternal peace. THE MIGHTY HAWK HAD MADE HIS LAST FLIGHT. His tombstone says," HERE LIES HAWK. HE DID EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING DID HIM IN."

Terry Bollea (HULK HOGAN)

Hulk Hogan OUTSIDE THE RING Chapter2 FINDING FAITH: I had gone to BALLAST BAPTIST CHURCH off and on since I was in first grade. The church was on the corner of the elementary school and my parents would sometimes bring me there on sundays. Church never had much of an impact on my life as a kid. We would go on sundays, come home, and never talk about God or faith the entire week. My parents said that going to church for an hour every week was enough. ALL OF THAT CHANGED WHEN I WAS 15. I don't remember if I was still playing football or if it was after I had quit but it was after practice that the Satterwhite brothers finally convinced me to come with them to the CHRISTIAN YOUTH RANCH. They had tried to get me to go ever since junior high. Knowing that I had a love for music they finally got me to go when they told me the youth band needed someone to play the guitar. SO I WENT AND ALL THE KIDS SANG ALONG IT WAS A REAL PEACEFUL ENVIRONMENT. The meetings were every week either on Mondays or Tuesdays but there was nothing else for me to do so I kept going. In between the songs I would listen to the lessons of REV HANK LINDSTROM especially JOHN 3:16 the one verse that REV. LINDSTROM would beat into everybodys head every week. Growing up I had always believed there was something more to us than just the body. Other kids would say things like "OH MAN I DONT EVER WANT TO DIE" and I remember saying "IM NOT AFRAID TO DIE BECAUSE I THINK IM GOING TO HEAVEN." I never understood the whole thing about believing but I just had a feeling there was a God. Whether its ALLAH or the HIGHER SELF every religion has a name for what they believe to be the higher spirit, energy, or being. BUT GOD MADE SENSE TO ME FOR SOME REASON. As a kid I also had my own source or reasoning, "IF IM GOOD ILL GET GOOD GRADES IF IM A GOOD PERSON THEN ILL GET INTO HEAVEN." I thought of it like being on Santas checklist. When I met Hank Lindstrom that reasoning stopped. He said to me, "YOU KNOW WHAT MAN? YOU CANT GET INTO HEAVEN THAT WAY." "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?" I asked " YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT JESUS CHRIST AS YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT THAT WERE ALL SINNERS YOU KNOW? AND THAT GOD GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON HE SACRIFICED HIS SON TO PAY FOR YOUR SINS." for some reason I took a real interest in what he was saying and I kept asking him to read me different passages from the BIBLE. What They all seemed to say is that you don't necessarily have to do good YOU JUST HAVE TO BELIEVE. After what happened to my brother ALAN I definitely wanted to go down the right path and do the right thing I didn't quite agree that you could just go out and murder people and then all of a sudden, "OH I BELIEVE IN JESUS CHRIST," and all will be forgiven then you will walk through the pearly gates of Heaven when you have died. To me it felt like acknowledging everything I already knew that everything wasn't just surface level or materialistic. THERE WAS SOMETHING MORE. WHAY DID I BELIEVE IN GOD? Maybe I was just too scared not to: I don't want to say I don't believe in God cause oh my God what will happen then? All I know is that I could tell the difference between my body and what I felt in my spirit. If you believe in your spirit than you believe in JOHN 3:16 which is the foundation of being a Christian and what I believe in and then youre not afraid to die anymore. And when youre not afraid to die than youre not afraid to live. I didn't completely understand the power of it at that time but I did feel something shift in my life at that point. I followed that feeling knowing that I had been saved and that I would have eternal life when my body no longer had life in it. That Christian youth ranch really helped lay the foundation of strength and resolve I would need to accomplish everything in my life and that foundation certainly helped me get through the rough times that were to come many years later. I remember maybe 5or6 weeks after these things had happened and I had first raised my hand , to accept Christ ,with the other kids I had said to myself," I THINK CHRIST DID DIE ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SINS." Being saved is not some big evangelical moment, its not some over the top thing, its not joining some sort of cult or something. Its just accepting what it means to be a Christian. I continued going to that youth ranch every week through the rest of high school. Over the years Rev Lindstrom and I have kept in tough and his teachings remain in my mind today even when I spend my sundays in the ring instead of in a pew.

CHAPTER 18 SECRET REVEALED: After Linda filed for divorce I felt like I was bouncing around in a pinball machine for a couple of weeks. Sometimes Id run into someone who wanted to talk with me and Id just unload on them about everything that was wrong with my life. Public appearances were very hard for me too. To be mobbed by fans who wanted to see HULKAMANIA MADNESS and pose for pictures with me flexing my muscles was nearly impossible for me.
 At the end of the month I flew to Texas for a appearance and when I flew back I started my whole WOE IS ME routine with the guy the sitting next to me. I went on and on about all the misery in my life, MY WIFE FILING FOR DIVORCE, MY SON FACING CRIMINAL CHARGES EVENTHOUGH HES BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH ALREADY WITH BEST FRIEND BEING IN THE HOSPITAL,AND MY BACK HURTS SO BAD THAT MY LEGS START TO GO NUMB IF I SIT TOO LONG,NOT TO MENTION MY FEET START SWELLING EVERYTIME I GET ON A PLANE. I JUST KEPT COMPLAINING ON AND ON.
All of a sudden someone tapped my shoulder. I turned and I saw this dark-skinned woman sitting behind me with the most peaceful face. She said to me, "YOU SHOULD READ THIS" and she handed me a copy of THE SECRET by Rhonda Byrne. It was book who became a giant bestseller and was featured on OPRAH. There are also spoofs of it and whole groups who think its a bunch of mumbo jumbo so they do all they can to hate it. But I had never heard of it when she handed it to me. "IF YOU READ IT IT MAY HELP YOU." she said. The guy next to me was getting tired of my complaining anyway so I thought WHAT THE HECK. When I opened it up it hit me like a lightening bolt about how much I saw myself in it. I GET CHILLS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. Since Im a fast reader I read the book as fast as I could just taking in its revelations about the "law of attraction" the idea that were personally responsible for everything that happens in our lives. To get a better handle on the whole idea I went back to the beginning and began to read again- this whole idea that what you think about you bring about. That your thoughts conscious or unconscious dictate the reality of your life. This idea seemed to trace back to when I was 15 when I was reading the Bible there was a certain phrase I had read "ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE" WAS GOD REALLY SAYING THAT EVERYTHING WE EVER WANTED OR NEEDED WAS THERE FOR THE ASKING? ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS ASK? WAS THIS BOOK REALLY SAYING THAT I COULD CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE IF I CHANGED MY WAY OF THINKING? Before I was done the airplane landed in the airport at Tampa. I wanted to get all the way through it again so I just kept reading. When the lady who gave it to me started to leave she said I could keep it. I thanked her and when I took it home I read it again and again that night. I wish I could have found that woman to thank for what she had done for me from giving me the book because that moment marked the start of whole new journey in life. I journey that would lift me off the treadmill of misery that I had been on far too long. The funny thing is I started this journey much earlier without even knowing it-in those moments when I started praying for happiness, when I had a gun in my hand wandering if life was still worth living, and when I backed away from Linda the day before Christmas. Unfortunately I would have to go a lot further down this path before I would understand what any of it meant. Im not a philosopher or a preacher so all I can tell you is how THE SECRET and all these other books I started to read at the beginning of 2008 helped me change my life for the better. In the beginning of 2008 I devoured book after book and reread those books over and over. I also bought the DVD film version of THE SECRET and watched it again and again. I loved seeing these spiritual leaders and life coaches come to life on the screen. People like MICHAEL BECKWITH and JAMES ARTHUR RAY. I got so obsessed I started to put the DVD on repeat on the DVD player in my black Mercedes so every time I got in the car it would play on the pop up TV screen on the dashboard. The more I read and the more I listened the more I started to connect the dots in my life going all the way back to my childhood. I had pulled out a Bible again. I thought about what it meant to walk in the spirit of Christ. I thought about the teaching of REV LINDSTROM at the CHRISTIAN YOUTH CAMP. I thought about the old moral code I use to live by- that simple code of wanting to be good and not bad. I started to change my opinion on every single thing that had ever happened in my life. RIGHT THEN AND THERE ALMOST OVERNIGHT. For far too long my thought had been consumed with the problems of my marriage, the pain in my body, the horror of Nicks accident and, Johns condition. ALL I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT WERE THE PROBLEMS IN MY LIFE. MAYBE I HAVE BEEN HIT IN THE HEAD TOO MANY TIMES BUT IM TELLING YOU AS SOON AS I STARTED PAYING ATTENTION TO THE LAW OF ATTRACTION AS SOON AS I STARTED NOT PRAYING TO BE HAPPY, BUT BELIEVEING THAT I COULD BE HAPPY AGAIN, HAPPINESS STARTED TO FIND ME.